“It is not the load that breaks you down. It’s the way you carry it.” — Lena Horne

Whether you become a caregiver gradually or all of sudden like I did, due to a crisis, or whether you are a caregiver by default, many emotions surface when you take on the job of caregiving. Some of these feelings happen right away and some don’t surface until you have been caregiving for a while. Whatever your situation, it is important to remember that you, too, are important. Many feelings come up when you are caring for someone day in and day out. All of your emotions, good and bad, about caregiving are not only allowed, but are valid and important. Many caregivers set out saying, “This won’t happen to me, I can control everything." But after a while, the “negative” emotions that we tend to want to bury or pretend we aren’t feeling, come up. Caregivers are often reluctant to express these feelings for fear they will be judged by others (or judge themselves) or don’t want to burden others with their problems. It can also cause relationship issues with family and friends. It is a slippery slope and you must find balance between your caregiving and your responsibilities and relationships with family and friends. If you don’t deal with ALL of your emotions, they can be like a two-year-old who wants your attention. They will keep tugging at you until you stop and acknowledge them. Not paying attention to your feelings can lead to poor sleep, illness, trouble coping, stress eating, substance abuse, etc. When you admit to your feelings, you can then find productive ways to express them and deal with them, so that you and the care receiver can cope better in the future. My grandson was hit by a drunk driver and was transported by caring paramedics

with a TBI and many injuries that required lifelong care. I love my grandson very much but I've gone through this rollercoaster of emotions. In my case, I had to learn how to give these feelings over to God. This is still a work in progress and I struggle daily. This may not be your cup of tea, but I will tell you right now, so many times God has answered my prayers with big miracle's and also the everyday small one's which tells me he has got this.

Isaiah 41:10: “Do not fear: I am with you; do not be anxious: I am your God. I will strengthen you.